


across the universe

by jixrudy



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: A LOT of donghyuk's reflections, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Space, Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Moon, Planets, Romantic Friendship, Self-Reflection, THERE'S A LOT OF FRIENDSHIP OKAY, cosmic power???, i hate it but i love it, love yourself guys, some space shit, sun - Freeform, their friendship deserves MORE, yundong - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jixrudy/pseuds/jixrudy
Summary: night reflections about cosmic destinies, lunar mares, inner warmth, roman gods, and sand grains in the pants
Relationships: Kim Donghyuk/Song Yunhyeong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	across the universe

"How do you feel them?"

Donghyuk frowned. Chanwoo still looking relax, as he did five minutes before he asked his strange question — just playing another game that Jiwon brought back from his work. He eats a piece of cheese from the pizza, which was already cold after two rounds of play, and Chanwoo doesn't even turn to look at the confused guy.

"What are you talking about?" Donghyuk asks, putting the book down on the table (he can't finish Stephen King's "The Long Walk" for three weeks, which annoys him insanely), and straightens up in his chair.

"You know what I mean," Chanwoo snorts, not looking up from the game. "Scars. Craters. Lowlands. And a thousand other names, but only your scars calls "Mares" by others. How do you feel them?"

Well. It was a little bit discouraging. All know what "mares" are. They are not like Earth's seas and oceans, flowing in blue waves over small grains of sand on the shore, "mares" are like incised ugly scars on Donghyuk's body. There are no marine's bliss and tranquility. Just only terrible scars that annoying Donghyuk every time he sees them.

"I can't feel them," Donghyuk replies, feeling his mood slowly down over the "badly, really badly" line. "It's just ugly scars. Which I hate, by the way, and you know it, Chanwoo."

The widescreen of the TV flashes brightly, playing a joyful final melody. Chanwoo a little bit smiles for the win, then puts down the console and turns his full attention to his friend. Donghyuk intensely pretends he is reading the book.

"Nah, you don't understand," Chanwoo continues. "Why are they called mares? I also have craters and scars, but they are called "Caloris Planitia" or "Bronte crater" but not mares. That's weird, don't you think?"

"No, I don't think so," Donghyuk sighs, throwing the book back again, surrendering to the younger's curiosity. "And I don't want to think. Just someone decided foolishly to call it like that, and others were too lazy to change it. They're just scars."

Chanwoo pauses for a few minutes. He continues to eat the cold pizza, moving the leftovers for Jiwon, still looks at his phone, and starts searching for a new game to the console. So Donghyuk mentally relaxes again, deciding that the stupid question was finally closed.

"You've never been interested in this before? There must be a reason for this naming," Chanwoo never gives up. "Even the older hyungs have a reason for having similar scars on their bodies. "Big spots," remember? Nothing just happens, Donghyuk."

Donghyuk pulls the gate of his t-shirt, which suddenly began to choke his throat.

"Chanwoo, if you don't stop talking about this right now, I'll break your console."

"It's Jiwon-hyung's console if you remember," he shows his tongue, teasing. "I just wanna know the true meaning of their naming. You know, what if all of sudden they were called "mares" to send secret messages to other Galaxies? Or you are holding at yourself unknown sea power that will destroy our world one day? Things happen, you know."

The TV screen lights up again, reminding boys of the beginning of a new round. 

"You need to reduce your communication with Junhoe," Donghyuk pushes a hand to his forehead. He still remembers how that guy was fully confident that Donghyuk, as a real Moon, should only be waking at night. "Or Jiwon. But better with the two of them, because right now you're talking a real crap."

"Then find out about your 'mares' if you don't want to hear my theories," Chanwoo snorts. "Junhoe and Jiwon-hyung will be definitely like that idea. It's not too far to Yunhyeong, by the way," he pauses for a second. "I think he'll be interested too."

Donghyuk was about to throw his book right at the younger's head but still holds his desire, suddenly imagining Yunhyeong's friendly smile at his head. Conscience doesn't allow it. He sighs loudly, running a hand through his hair and calming his breath, trying to settle down the thoughts in his head. Dealing with his scars, which didn't even matter meaning, was the last thing which Donghyuk wanted to do for the next hundred years if not three hundred. But he knows Chanwoo too well, as his rather stubborn curiosity ("God, why was exactly Jung Chanwoo born Mercury?"). And he needs the annoying company of his best friends with the same annoying questions even less than he needs problems with scars. 

And Yunhyeong.

"Fuck you," Donghyuk breathes, putting a book to his face that he doesn't think he's going to finish. "Not words to others. Hanbin and Jinhwan too," he frightens him with a finger. "And Yunhyeong in particular."

"Keep mouth shut," Chanwoo obediently nods, barely suppressing a smile before Donghyuk would be angrier.

The book, even so, flew off, targeting the guy's head. But with luck to Chanwoo lands next to the pizza box.

When you're an ordinary satellite, even your own Galaxy seems farther than it really is. He lives with all the stars and planets, visits the same places, lives the same life as everyone else, but still feels a thin line — He and the whole Galaxy. It's like just a little bit more, and you can reach out to this world; feel what others feel, know what others know. To live not just like the others, but to be a part of it.

Be a part of Life.

"What are you thinking about?" Yunhyeong doesn't come until late at night. His shirt is slightly crumpled, but his hair is tidily held, and he has an apologetic smile on his lips. The wind felt colder on the hills than in the city, so Donghyuk worried that Yunhyeong may feel sick.

"About everything," Donghyuk moves away from his seat, offering the boy to sit. He forgot to take a coat or jacket with him before his night shift, which he likes to spend right on the hills. There was much more beautiful to look at space. "Aren't you cold?"

Yunhyeong smiles gently, sitting down next to him.

"No," he said. "You know I'm never cold, so why do you keep worrying about it?"

Donghyuk knows about it. But something makes him wonder what if Yunhyeong will feeling cold this time. What if suddenly Yunhyeong won't feel his inner warmth one day? And does he have this inner warmth that everyone talks about when they mention the Sun? Donghyuk, to be honest, doesn't know. He doesn't decide to ask — he remembers when Hanbin once asked Yunhyeong how he feels about being the Sun.

On that day, they chilled at Jinhwan's house for the late-night movies that they make once a month (ironically, on a Saturday), and Hanbin's mind was too full to watch the movie in calmness.

"Yunhyeong, how are you feel your power?" Hanbin lies lazily on the sofa, occasionally kicking Junhoe's legs, which are too long to fit on one small sofa. "You have the most central and leading role of all of us, and we don't even know if you have any powers at all. What if it was all fiction, and the Sun was actually Bobby? Just for example."

"Yeah, then I'm will be the Moon, and you're Venus," Jinhwan snorts, pushing both guys aside as he sits down in the middle of the sofa with the baked popcorn. "Wouldn't you think of something smarter?"

"The Moon doesn't shoot thunderbolts, hyung," Hanbin replies surely. "But you look like a fallen comet, think about it."

"They don't shoot thunderbolts too, you dumbass," Jinhwan sighs, tossing a small piece of popcorn on the boy. Hanbin feels a slight current from the electrified popcorn and whimpers softly. "Yunhyeong's power has a very long history and the widest range among us all. There can't be mistakes that he is the Sun."

"So you know what his power is?" Hanbin asks in amazement, standing up from the sofa and staring at the older, who is hard trying to both understand the plot of the film and ignoring the guy. "And you didn't say anything? So what's Yunhyeong's power?"

"Warmth."

Yunhyeong said this almost in a whisper, quickly and easily, as if he speaking into the void. The boys turned to him uncomprehendingly, asking what he had just said, but Yunhyeong simply smiled, shaking his head.

"No, no, you just seemed," he continued to deny until the guys forgot the theme of conversation and started another meaningless dispute, allowing Yunhyeong to keep his secret further. 

But Donghyuk heard it all clearly. And Yunhyeong's short, ambiguous smile, addressed to him after the boys were distracted, still haunts him.

What can be meant by warmth? Yunhyeong doesn't sparkle with sunlight, he has no fire in his hands, like Jiwon, whose burns not only inside, but also others; he hasn't Junhoe's wide sandstorms, as in the hot desert, or Chanwoo's emergency temperatures. He looks the same all day and night, without changing his appearance. He doesn't even show his power, but somehow absolutely everyone knows that the Sun is Song Yunhyeong.

"I don't know," Donghyuk slightly clears his throat, feeling how in his chest is overflowing a strange sense. "Who knows what can change in one day, right?"

Yunhyeong nods his head in silence, turning his gaze to space. He wants to freeze all time just to watch at space every minute of his life. Just to admire the enormous space in front of his eyes. From one small hill, all can see the whole Galaxy, including all power of every creature in this world. Comets fly by 'cause there are always hurrying somewhere, and the stars flash lazily, tired of redirecting their energy into light.

"Ever ask yourself why we're doing all this?" Yunhyeong asks, lying down on the surface of the cold grass. "Day after day, every hour of our lives, we redirect our powers into this large system. Planets, comets, asteroids, stars, space... What do you think it's for what?"

Donghyuk shrugs his shoulders, laying next to the guy. The grass tickles his skin, giving him goosebumps. It's cold at night, and to Donghyuk especially. He looks straight ahead into space, feeling how that strange sense pours out with an obscure bitterness inside. He sees his reflection in the form of a light gray satellite that slowly spinning around the Earth. He can control it, leads its movement, _feels_ it, but at the same time, he feels separated from it. It was as if he wasn't himself anymore. There was only a beautiful satellite, working independently without anyone's help. As if he didn't even need himself.

"Do you want me to make another theory about universal affairs like Hanbin and Junhoe, or do you want me to answer seriously?" Donghyuk snorts, listening to his laughter nearby. Yunhyeong's laugh always sounds upright and sincere. Laugh that can ease the soul from the first second.

"Definitely without any theories, I already have enough of them. So what do you think?"

Donghyuk doesn't look away from his reflection.

"Maybe it was to make it easier for us to see ourselves from the outside?" he sighs. "To see what we are. Who we are. Perhaps it's easier for us to analyze ourselves this way. Get to know themselves from the other side... I don't know, to be honest. What do you feel when you look at yourself like this?"

"Weird feeling," said Yunhyeong, "Like it wasn't even me."

Donghyuk turns amazed around to face him.

"Even the Sun can feel like that when looking at its reflection?"

"Of course, I have feelings too," he smiles awkwardly. The fiery star continues to lights up the entire Solar system right in front of him, without stopping for a second. "Sometimes I don't understand why I'm the one who can control the Sun. Some days I want to hide in an angle, disappear, just to be alone, but then I see my reflection from above. And I can't stop anymore."

"Can't stop looking?"

"Can't stop living," Yunhyeong turns to him, clashing views. Donghyuk's eyes shine under the faint light of space as if all-stars of the Milky Way have obtained inside him and hauling Yunhyeong along with them. "If the Universe has given me the possibility to be the Sun, I must fulfill it. Perhaps this bright star is, to some extent, really can be me."

Donghyuk asks before he has time to think:

"And you don't want to run away from it? From your reflection?"

"Do you want to?"

The Yunhyeong's question leaves a heavy feeling in the Donghyuk's chest. It's as if things that he secretly and convulsively desired accidentally comes out in their worst form — a worn, empty, and at the same time burning desire to lose the second part of himself. Cut off with silver scissors the string that connects him with his pale reflection in the cosmos. Give back all those ugly scars from the lunar "mares" that were displayed on his skin. Escape from his reflection. Yes, that's what he really wanted.

"Someone says that before you decide to break the connection with your past life, you need to know yourself in your past life," Yunhyeong turns back to the cosmos, pulling out his hand to the light of the Sun. "Jinhwan is definitely better at these things than I am, but... Try to think about these words if you want." 

The white sunlight embraces Yunhyeong's fingers as if it is reconnecting with him.

Donghyuk has an instant thought that he would like to feel the touch of Yunhyeong's fingers on his scars — _would sunlight be able to heal them?_

Tape after tape, disc after disc, cleaning, then rearranging the French films of the 60s to the left shelf (because Jinhwan mistakenly always goes to the left for them). That's how goes every day of Jiwon's work. Unless, of course, guests from other Galaxies suddenly come to here on the way, which is, in fact, too rare, but always need to be prepared just in case. 

"It's so boring, hyung. I don't know why you're still working here." Donghyuk sighs, stretching out on the old leather sofa from Junhoe's apartment because Jiwon spends more nights at work than in his own house. And Junhoe wanted to change the interior ("More rather was be if he cleans his own place than that all," Donghyuk thinks).

"I'm used to it here," he shrugs his shoulders, wiping the dust off board games. "And where I can take all those games for free? I'm not a millionaire to buy them every time."

"But your parents, actually-"

"I'm not a millionaire, okay?" he interrupts before Donghyuk has time to finish and then smiles. "Aren't you hungry?"

Donghyuk rolls his eyes.

"We had pizza just thirty minutes ago," he says, checking his watch on the phone and nodding his head. "Don't tell me you're hungry again. Why do we order pizza at all? It'll make me vomit soon."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," he says, tossing the rag into the back room and walking behind the counter. "And my pizza," Jiwon puts his hands on his stomach, "too."

Donghyuk laughs, getting up from the uncomfortable sofa, and passes through the rows again. In this cosmic city, Jiwon's shop is the only place, in which selling music albums, movies, and games that he somehow manages to get from Earth and even other Galaxies (Donghyuk doesn't always understand how Jiwon was so good at connecting with others). But this place still isn't as popular among the residents.

Jiwon laying out the goods in his system: on the right side are stands The Queen and Red Hot Chili Peppers' albums whose Junhoe loves to listen in a good mood. Next to them stands the books of favorite Hanbin's authors, and at the down laying a neatly Chanwoo's assembled collection of games for consoles. Donghyuk runs his fingers over the objects almost without touching them and catches a view of the collection of Yunhyeong's recipes, that he dreamed of making (Donghyuk doesn't immediately notice that he has a smile on his face). And next to them standing all the albums that Donghyuk has ever called beautiful.

"Hyung, when did you buy this?" he asks in surprise as he pulls out Phony PPL's albums and notices familiar movie discs nearby. "Oh, it's 'Miracle in Cell No.7' and 'New World'! Why didn't I even notice it before?"

"See, it's not that boring," Jiwon chuckles, hiding a smile on his face. He pretends to count something in the cash register. "A lot of interesting things can be founded if you want."

Donghyuk continues to review his favorite albums and feels a pleasant sense tickling in the left side. He remembers the melody from his favorite song Phony PPL 'Why III Love the Moon' and can't help but smile on his face. It's strange to feel that someone remembers such little things about you, even if it's your best friend. And finding such small but amazing surprises was too unusual. 

"Wait, hyung," he turns back to the guy and asking. "If it's not just all my favorite things, but all the other guys', then where's the shelf with your favorite things?"

"Pulp Fiction is on the third row, on the right, thanks for the question," he laughs. "Just kidding. Everything in this store is my favorite. And your things, too. This is all precious to me."

Donghyuk gently runs his fingers over the flat case and puts the album back to the shelf, next to the Yunhyeong's recipes. Is that why Jiwon spends every day at this small shop that doesn't even bring him earnings? He knows how careful Jiwon was about his little world. It's hard to hold back and control the flames in his hands when working with such fragile things. Flame in the palms of your hands. Yunhyeong's words about the past still spin in Donghyuk's head since last night. As might be meant in the past? He's still him, whether in the past or now. During the time when he was small, absolutely nothing has changed: he didn't have and doesn't have any powers, there are no thunderbolts under his skin, he doesn't know how to quickly moving in space and can't even become invisible. The Moon has no history; it's not even a planet, just a satellite (and Donghyuk deeply hates this fact).

"Hyung, how can you control your fire?" asks Donghyuk, putting the movies on the sofa and sits next to them. Jiwon stops looking at the cash register, sharply focusing on his palms. Donghyuk would like to know how it feels when the fire flows in the body instead of the blood, the heat becomes the usual body temperature and the ordinary presence already can raise the atmosphere in society. 

"It's inside me," he shrugs his shoulders. "And I just accept it, letting it live at my pace."

In Jiwon lives Roman's God Jupiter, full of life, flame light, and good fortune. Donghyuk remembers the first time he saw Jiwon's power in full: they went for a walk after Jiwon's day shift at the store, and they were in a great mood. They went along the empty road toward Jiwon's house as the peach-colored sunset slowly faded into the horizon.

"Yunhyeong must be tired now," Jiwon says, kicking small stones as he goes. "Is it not difficult for you two to control your powers not only in space but also in our city? Constantly changing shifts, day and night, Sun and Moon. It's exhausting, in my opinion."

"I don't really notice how it goes, to be honest," Donghyuk looks down, watching the stone slowly roll to the other side of the road. It's almost evening, and he thinks, will he go to the hills from Jiwon's house before it would be too late. Yunhyeong is probably really tired today. They won't meet tonight. "Isn't it the same with you and others? Of course, you don't light up our city, but your and other's powers control the weather, electricity, and so."

"True, but you imagine what would be if Junhoe makes desert instead of Yunhyeong's solar lighting. Wait, he only wakes up in the evening. Then I'd be coming home from work completely filled with the sand," Jiwon laughs as he reaches out into the gentle sunset. The sun's rays cover the dry road with bunnies, warming it with their warmth. "I'd like to experience that, though."

"Sand in your pants?" Donghyuk snorts.

Jiwon stopped. 

"No. Lights up all the city. The whole cosmos. Warm everyone with your warmth. Isn't that great?" he turns to Donghyuk, asked with all sincerity in his voice. Donghyuk feels something in his left side, where the long scar, "Mare Australe" — 'Southern Sea' is located, and he swears that he can feel the warmth spreading through his body. "To give happiness to others. One feeling of warmth can lift someone's mood or even save their life. I would like to feel that my powers have meaning."

Donghyuk puts his fingers to his left side, not understanding the reaction of his own body, and Jiwon's palms slowly shimmer with a bright red gradient on the skin at the same time. He had never seen the fire in Jiwon's body move so freely, as if capturing every area of skin, but it didn't bring pain, no, it was like inner sunrise. Jiwon's body has its own sunrises and sunsets, his Sun lives at himself. The golden lights of the sunset embrace the boy's hands, as if feeding support, and Jiwon continues.

"And I want to try hard to make my dream come true," he smiles brightly at Donghyuk and then walks on down the road, leaving the amazed guy behind. "How long are you going to stand there? You can't get to the hills with this rate, by the way."

The sun finally disappeared behind the horizon, and Donghyuk felt frozen in time. 

He still remembers how Jiwon's palms magically shimmered that day. And that strange feeling in his left side leaves him confused. Why did he feel warm in that place if the Moon is never getting warm? The ordinary temperature of his body is at zero, if not lower. 

His moonlight at space was brighter than usual that day.

"Hyung, do you mind if I take these movies? I want to rewatch them," Donghyuk gets up off the sofa, grabbing the disks, and goes to the door. Too many memories were in one day, and he just wants to relax with his favorite movie before his night shift. 

"Of course," Jiwon nods and then catches on, stopping Donghyuk. "Stop, wait," he leans over and pulls two books out of the drawer under the cash register. "Give Yunhyeong these recipe books, he ordered them three weeks ago, but I always forget to give them back."

Donghyuk carefully picks up the books, holding them in his hands along with the disks, and leaves the store, saying goodbye. 

The asking to hand over the books to Yunhyeong caused him a little confusion — for some reason, it tickled in his chest at the one thought that he needed to meet him. He'll probably be busy again tonight. Donghyuk would like to see him, and even more, ask if he would like to watch movies with him. 

But before that, he needs to understand who he was in his "past" life and suppressing Chanwoo's stupid curiosity.

"You know, a sand storm is cool. Helpful even. Very refreshing thoughts," reflects Junhoe, staring at the ceiling. Donghyuk's apartment is clean, too clean, and Junhoe sometimes comes here just to think. The mess, in his opinion, avoids him from coming to any conclusions in his decisions, and the mess is always in his life (Donghyuk doesn't even doubt it).

"So why is it wouldn't freshen up your apartment?" Donghyuk snorts, playing some silly game on his phone and killing time before his night shift. There was an hour left before sunset, after which he must go back to the hills. 

"And materialism is bad, Dong," said Junhoe, turning to his face. He sprawled out on his blue padded sofa, which completely fits his legs, unlike the sofa in Jinhwan's apartment. Donghyuk laughs softly, not taking his look off the hard level in the game, as Junhoe rolls over on his side, propping his chin on his fist. "No, seriously, haven't you ever wanted to just let the chaos flow its way?"

Donghyuk frowns. How can anyone like the chaos in their life? Okay, Junhoe was born with a storm not only in his hands, but also in his head, but how could anyone else like that? Someone _ordinary_. Simple. The game ends with Donghyuk's loss and he feels like bad thoughts come to his mind.

"Definitely not," he sighs, setting the phone down on the coffee table and lifting his feet on the sofa, resting his chin on his knees. "There's nothing attractive about it. Lack of stability, being lost, not knowing what will happen next. Chaos comes to end. And the consequences of this chaos can even be disappointing."

"But without chaos wasn't life, Donghyuk," Junhoe again turns back to the ceiling, looking at the smooth white paint on the coating. Donghyuk feels how his head begins to spin and ache, and he shudders uncomfortably as he leans his head against the back of the couch. "Stability is, of course, good. But is this the meaning of life? We're just planets that..." he clears his throat, feeling Donghyuk's sharp look, "the objects in the Universe, sorry. I mean, even we have our lifetime too. No one knows what can happen — suddenly will be live on one of the planets? Or will we be sharply destroyed by a satellite, a comet, or whatever? Nothing lasts forever, not even space. So, absolute stability doesn't exist, and chaos will help to open the door of your life, which you were afraid to face alone."

Junhoe said it tenderly but with specific confidence in his voice. He believes what he thinks. And if Junhoe starts to believe someone or something, then it will be forever.

Donghyuk, to be honest, doesn't know what to say. He doesn't like to complicate his life. To some extent, Donghyuk is satisfied with his current life — it's not perfect, yes, but it's his life. He is afraid that he will find nothing after all if he continues to search for the door that should lead him to the truth, to the sincerity. There is no truth. He is afraid that his current life is his limit; that he isn't able of more, isn't able to be equal to his cool friends, isn't able to give people happiness and warmth, isn't able to make his donation to the world being himself. Not a satellite, not the Moon, not the owner of the scars and the moonlight of space, no, just being Kim Donghyuk.

It was probably the only thing he wanted to see behind that door.

"But what if I still don't want to see it? Rather," signs Donghyuk, and he hopes that Junhoe can't hear how his voice has a little tremble. He wants to continue, to say "I'm afraid to run into it," but he says something completely different, "how do I find it? What is the way to find it? How can I find it through chaos if chaos is everything and nothing at the same time? There is no road in it, but how can I be sure that I will find something after all? How can I be sure that this door even exists?"

Junhoe turns suddenly, puzzled by the serious tone of Donghyuk's voice; he feels something at him shiver and break and wants to touch him and hug, trying to calm him down, but at the last moment stopped his mind because of embarrassment. He sits on the sofa and watching straight at Donghyuk's eyes.

"In no way," Junhoe said it easily and quickly, almost airborne, to the surprise of Donghyuk. But Junhoe's eyes looking completely different, proving that he understands everything and says it seriously. His sharp gaze stabs Donghyuk, and he continues to listen to him. "But chaos gives you at least a chance to find that door. Taking this chance, risking everything, and being prepared for the consequences is only your choice. And this choice will show you whether it's worth it or not. Nobody but you can answer these questions, Donghyuk."

He smiles a little as he gets up from the sofa and pats the guy on the shoulder without interrupting the deep look that makes Donghyuk think about what he's saying. Junhoe lows about he needs to take the latest Led Zeppelin album from Jiwon's store, and quickly put on his coat and feels embarrassed, sensing the awkward atmosphere between them.

Junhoe suddenly pats him on the head and quickly leaves the guy's apartment. Donghyuk feels how sand grains rolling on his hair (for some reason, it even smooth out his headache near his scar on the right temple). 

Donghyuk always saw how Junhoe overflowing the sand with a childhood, almost harmless and sincere, but with delighted smile and eyes. Junhoe said that the sand helps him to calm down, to show those feelings and emotions that he can't express in words. 

Donghyuk thinks this is the first time when he understood exactly what Junhoe wanted to say.

As darkness surrounded the hills, slowly covering the sprouts of green grass in a gloomy shade, Donghyuk felt a strange melancholy. Today he again spends the night shift being alone, and the full moon is visible on Earth. It must be interesting to see a gray-white circle in the dark sky before going to sleep. Donghyuk may even be admired as a beautiful painting if it wasn't something behind this beauty. Something dark, cold, almost icy, empty. It's lonely in space not because of the lack of life but because of the lack of any meaning.

At least that's how Donghyuk thinks about it.

As a child, he often didn't understand why he needed to do this or that action. They are told "it is necessary," just necessary, for no reason. He went to school with his friends, the planets and stars, but he didn't understand why he spent time with these cool planets because he had never seen a satellite in their company. Yes, they got along well with everyone, but why _exactly_ Donghyuk became friends with them? He didn't feel jealous, no, he felt the same sense of pride for his friends as those around him, but he didn't completely understand the reason for their friendship. Like it just happened, and that's all.

"Have you ever heard about Auroras?"

Little Donghyuk frowns, hearing an unfamiliar voice next to him. When he raises his head, there was a boy with very big eyes. Almost like a doll. Donghyuk puts off another try to learn something from a book and decides that talking with this boy will seem much more exciting than the facts about plants.

"What are the Auroras?" asks Donghyuk. A boy sits on a chair next to Donghyuk's table and shrugs his shoulders. "I'm Donghyuk. What's your name? You have big eyes, it's cool."

"Chanwoo," the boy smiles sheepishly at the compliment, lowering his eyes. "I don't know too. Junhoe says that he often sees some beautiful sparks in his eyes. I don't believe him, but that's what the high school's boys said too. 

"Do you communicate with Junhoe?" asks Donghyuk in surprise, remembering that boy. Junhoe is his classmate that almost everyone in school knows because of his bright smile and uncontrollable powers. He is awfully noisy, to be honest, Donghyuk doesn't like him too much, but he heard that the power of Mars lives in Junhoe. "So you're...?"

"Mercury, yeah," Chanwoo nods his head, confirming the words. "The teacher said I wouldn't be able to see the Auroras. Do you see them?" 

"No, I just... Do you know what the Moon is?" Donghyuk feels uncomfortable. He always feels uncomfortable in front of cool people, even if they are his age. He knows nothing about Junhoe or Chanwoo, but the intuition thinks that it would be better if he doesn't will be talking with them. 

To his surprise, Chanwoo nods confidently and even exclaims.

"Wow, are you the Moon? It's so cool! From high school, there is a boy named Yunhyeong, he is the Sun. I haven't seen him, but I know he's a Star. Do you think the stars can see Auroras?" 

Donghyuk thoughtfully bows his head to the side. Wait, did he just calls him cool?

"Probably not. Why do you want to see the Auroras so much?"

Chanwoo answers with a question.

"Isn't it interesting?" he smiles under the uncomprehending Donghyuk's gaze. "I want to make sure with my own eyes that Junhoe isn't lying. Suddenly his sand just got his eyes, and he thinks it was the Auroras?" 

"He's your friend, friends wouldn't lie to you," exclaims Donghyuk. "And what if suddenly seeing the Aurora is painful?"

Chanwoo pauses for a few seconds, focusing on the boy. Donghyuk has a short haircut, and his almost ash-blond hair shimmers like moonlight. He likes the boy's sincerity and absolute trust, so he smiles shyly and holds out his hand.

"Even if it hurts, it's better to check by yourself," Donghyuk looks uncertainly at the outstretched hand and then at Chanwoo himself. "Do you want to check with me if Junhoe is lying to me?"

Donghyuk thinks a couple of seconds but still reaches out in response. Chanwoo has a playful look, and the curiosity in his eyes is kindled, he smiles widely and gets up from the chair, returning to his table.

"Meeting after school!"

And Donghyuk remembers how they still couldn't find out whether Junhoe was lying to them or not, after which they decided to just relax and go for ice cream on that day. When Junhoe found out about their mistrust, he coated them with sand and surveyed every teacher and high school student, angrily proving his right to the skeptical Chanwoo. Donghyuk with Chanwoo wasn't able to see the Auroras, but the motto "Check, even if it hurts" stuck in the head of a younger Mercury.

And in Donghyuk's head, in fact, too (Chanwoo even jokingly called one of Donghyuk's scars as "Mare Serenitatis," a reminder of the immortal motto).

If that day Chanwoo asked a strange question to another boy, Donghyuk would be never meet his friends. A single incident helped Donghyuk find the best people in his life with them he really likes to hang out and feels real. Without any responsibilities, just being Kim Donghyuk with his hobbies, wishes, and dreams.

He doesn't know what connects him and the Moon. Donghyuk lives every day, sharing the feature of two lives — his and the Moon. It's like the real Kim Donghyuk lives his part of life during the day, and the Moon takes his time and personality at night. And all that remains is the Moon and the lack of understanding of why he is doing this. 

As a child, he liked to watch the Moon moving in space as it slowly circled the Earth's axis. It was as if someone else was controlling it, and he was just a viewer, just another passerby who caught a glimpse of a figure in the sky. But this thought is so tightly fixed in his mind that he is not sure if he really has any power over it, if its Soul really lives in him, if it really has a _meaning_. 

The only reminder of their connection with the Moon were the scars all over his body, like short and thin cuts, but he never gave them much thought. Only shyly covered the skin with the sleeves of hoodies and pulled the edges of his pants, not wanting to face them even with his eyes. The word "mares" didn't make him want to be among the cold waves, just give an unpleasant itch and irritation all over his body. He dreamed of seeing with his own eyes how the waves swirled in the oceans and enveloped the sandy shores, but just one look at the sea makes him think about these scars, discouraging any wishes to see beyond the sea coast.

In fact, he has no idea why they are called "Mares". In the past, he had been interested in this, wanting to know the reason for these scars, which he had often been teased about at school. If Junhoe and Chanwoo weren't protected him, Donghyuk definitely couldn't have done it alone. But still, every try was useless, and he couldn't find out a deeper reason for accepting every scar on his body.

And even to love them.

"I like them," Yunhyeong shrugged his shoulders when he noticed how Donghyuk once again pulls the sleeve of the sweatshirt. "They give you something special, don't you think?"

"They're ugly," said Donghyuk, averting his gaze, and mentally only wants to close this theme. 

"They are special," firmly repeats Yunhyeong, forcing the boy timidly lookup. "And I like them."

Donghyuk let the sleeve slightly to disclose the thin scar from his hands. He remembered how gently smiled Yunhyeong in response and gently ran by hand through Donghyuk's fair hair, stepping into the kitchen. Donghyuk has one question stuck in his throat — _"Do you really like them?"_ — but only can able to catch a glimpse of the guy's retreating silhouette.

And for some reason, the scars hurt again.

  
"Hyung, are you home?" asks Donghyuk, the second time knocking at the door, standing in the late evening at the Jinhwan's house. 

It's already getting a lot colder outside in the evenings, and Donghyuk is wearing only a windbreaker and takes a large package of shrimp. He impatiently knocks again, getting angrier if the older went to work again, without notifying Donghyuk about leaving, but, fortunately for him, someone opens the door.

"Dong-ie?" Jinhwan rubs his eyes sleepily, squinting at the sight of the boy. Donghyuk chuckles, noticing the tousled look of the older, and lifts the package, reminding the guy. "Damn, I'm sorry, did you wait long?"

He opens the door wide to let the boy in and takes the package from his hand.

"Not really. You asked me to buy shrimp near my house, decided to take them right after being free. Did you sleep?" asks Donghyuk, heading outright to the kitchen. He notices the mess on the table in the room and raises an eyebrow in question. 

"Be quiet, Hanbin's asleep," Jinhwan shushes, placing the package on the table. "Passed out after first beer and twenty minutes of watching to the ceiling. He's been too tired these last few days."

"That explains why the wind has been too cold these days," younger says, sitting down on a high seat at the rack. "And what made you fall asleep?"

"And I was too tired of watching how annoying Neptune stare at my ceiling for twenty minutes," he laughs. "Will you stay for dinner? You can even sleep over since you two already in my house."

"I will be glad to stay for dinner," Donghyuk smiles thankfully, resting his chin in clasped hands. 

Jinhwan nods his head, again distracted by the cooking, as the younger boy watches his silhouette move from one side of the kitchen to the other, searching for ingredients. Jinhwan is small in growth but strong at the body and very gentle at his movements — there is something tender and adult in the way he behaves, even in ordinary cooking. Donghyuk even good-naturedly jealous of this older's ability — he wanted to feel the same strength and peace of mind on his shoulders instead of a long scar. He thinks that maybe this is Jinhwan's special charm, his personal charm, not just the planetary charm.

"Don't burn a hole in me," Jinhwan laughs as he puts a pot of water on the stove. "I can get electrified with nerves because of it, actually."

"Hyung, you're the best at controlling your power, don't pretend," Donghyuk snorts, still watching the older guy.

"Sometimes your memory is too good," Jinhwan grumbles, hiding a smile behind this small compliment. "Do you want anything?"

"Just water."

After Jinhwan put a glass of cold water on the table, Donghyuk looked at the guy's house as Jinhwan went back to the cooking. Jinhwan is always clean at home and cozy in his own way: he doesn't like fullness, preferring minimalism, but still puts a lot of precious things on the shelves for himself. In the living room, there are stands a long shelf with all the souvenirs, that Jinhwan has ever received and collected: photos of family and friends, and medals for various victories. Jinhwan changes his hobbies like gloves and still able to reach equal levels at everything. This thing, in fact, often surprised Donghyuk — how can Jinhwan able to reach such goals in every case that he started to like? Jinhwan was always the most focused of them all, with a kind of special perseverance and patience, even strictness to himself. At these moments, it seemed that in Jinhwan lives not just a cold planet with constant thunderbolts and thunderstorms, but a really strict stringent teacher Saturn. 

"You think too much," Jinhwan grins, removing the pot from the stove. "Too much. You... aren't you worried about something in the last few days?

"I don't know," Donghyuk hesitantly shrugs his shoulders and silently cursed and thanked the world for the Jinhwan's insight. He doesn't want to share his worries with anyone without understanding them himself, but one sincere and concerned question from Jinhwan makes him feel a little lighter. "Just tired, most likely."

"Tiredness and anxiety are slightly different senses, Donghyuk-ah," he turns to face the boy, meeting the lost look in his eyes. "And you look exactly anxious."

Donghyuk doesn't say anything, just burying his face in cupped hands, and Jinhwan sighs faintly as he goes back to cooking. There's an awkward silence in the kitchen that makes Donghyuk want to say something, but doubts choke deep in his throat. However, his own questions without answers are destroying Donghyuk even more.

"How can you knowing yourself in the past, hyung?" Donghyuk almost signs, expectantly watching the older. Jinhwan frowns slightly at the question, pausing, then unconsciously chuckles.

"Who told you that?" Jinhwan asks, but noticing the younger's lost look, he exhales softly and continues, gathering his thoughts. "Everyone has its past. It's not necessarily a past life; the past is what you were yesterday, a year ago, as a child. These are your roots and your birth. You can only find out your past by turning around. Only by noticing in the things that were happening, something deeper than it seemed at first glance. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Donghyuk doesn't think he completely catches the meaning. He understands that Jinhwan is talking about analyzing the past, but what if he doesn't even know what conclusion he needs to come to? The only thing he knows is that he cannot identify with the Moon, cannot feel completely real. It's like there's something unknown behind him, something dark, just like the picture of a gray-white satellite in the sky that he imagined at night — something he can't recognize and's afraid to accept.

"I don't know exactly what's going on with you, Donghyuk-ah, but I think you only see one side of the situation," Jinhwan clears his throat awkwardly and stands next to the counter, not looking away. "You can see yourself as a simple guy with your pros and cons, but for someone, your existence can save a life. And to recognize yourself in the past, think not only about how you see yourself in the past, but how they all saw you. Your personality is not only your vision and knowledge of yourself, but it is also an unconscious part of you that you may not notice, but others know it. And yet in your past Self, and in your present Self, there is something that never changes. And the answer may be right in your face."

Donghyuk listens intently to the boy, slightly lost in his gaze — the older's voice is spinning at his mind like a tape with a jamming melody, but instead of a sticky song, he thinks about the meaning of his words. He sighs, running his fingers through his hair untidily, and Jinhwan smiles softly at him one last time, supporting him with his gaze. 

"I feel the smell of food," Hanbin's husky voice startles both boys, and they turn abruptly to the sleepy guy who is squinting at the bright light in the room. "Oh, Donghyuk. What are you doing here?"

"He just saved us from hunger," Jinhwan smirks, pointing to an empty bag of shrimp and ready-made pasta. "Otherwise, we would only eat water."

"Thanks to Moon prism for the power," Hanbin grins, sitting down at the counter with a satisfied smile as both boys snort.

"You're a terrible Sailor Moon."

Donghyuk laughs loudly at the older's sarcasm and the displeased expression on Hanbin's face, who is already ready for another dispute and Donghyuk feels a warm and ticklish feeling fill his chest. They have a quiet dinner, discussing the latest news and new wallpaper at Yunhyeong's apartment, which Donghyuk hasn't actually seen yet, but is already laughing at the guys' endless jokes.

"He thought vintage was the style he needed to switch to," Hanbin continues, chattering with his mouth full. "It wasn't bad, but vintage isn't just a style, it's more than that."

"Yunhyeong has always been open to trying new things," Jinhwan snorts. "And this is his huge advantage. Jesus, Hanbin, don't talk with your mouth full."

"There's no law in this world against talking with your mouth full," he lows, picking up a small shrimp with his chopsticks. Jinhwan doesn't say anything but noticeably rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of water from his glass. "Well. I told him that it was worth switching to vintage when you felt a special kinship with it, and now he is thinking about what to do with this wallpaper." 

"Does he like them?"

Donghyuk feels a little embarrassed when asking a question. Hanbin and Jinhwan pause for a second, turning to the guy, and then send each other knowing glances and soft smiles. Donghyuk feels lost in not understanding these games of looks from his elders, and it takes him a moment to notice how his ears are starting to turn red.

"That's the point," Hanbin continues. "He wanted us to like it better, not him."

It's so in Yunhyeong's style. Thinking about other people's tastes even more than his own — Donghyuk is really surprised at how Yunhyeong has enough care for absolutely everyone. As long as he has known Yunhyeong, he has always taken into attention not only his own feelings but also the other people close to him. 

"Why didn't he... didn't ask me?" he said. Donghyuk feels awkward. They hadn't run into each other since that conversation in the hills. Sometimes Donghyuk thought that he might have hurt the boy's feelings with his words that night, and he felt guilty if Yunhyeong had misunderstood his words. But talking with the guy would be more wrong until he learned to understand himself. 

"So asking him by yourself," Hanbin looks up at the boy. "Maybe he expects you to."

Donghyuk feels something behind that ambiguous gaze of Hanbin and Jinhwan's hidden smile. Did he really hit Yunhyeong with something? Or is it... or is Yunhyeong waiting too long for him when he finally makes up his mind?

"It's already night," Hanbin slowly gets up from the table, carrying his empty plate to the sink. "Better not be late today."

Yunhyeong waiting for him in the hills?  
Donghyuk rising sharply from the table, looking lost at Jinhwan, then Hanbin, and then turns to the window. The sunlight had long since disappeared from the streets, and the night's gloom covered the ground. He quickly thanks to the guys for dinner and goes to the exit, apologizing on the way. Just to comes to the hills before Yunhyeong leaves.

"Take my overcoat from the rack," said Jinhwan before Donghyuk out of the house. Donghyuk uncomprehending looks to his friend, but still picks a random jacket from the older's rack. "You'll get a cold. Good luck, Donghyuk-ah."

Donghyuk is still unsure of himself, but for some reason, he feels something on his shoulders — maybe he is already ready.

When he gets to the hills, Yunhyeong was sitting relaxed on the grass, watching the cosmos. Calm, quiet, and attentive; as if he were in his place at the right moment. Donghyuk was out of breath from running, but with the warmth of Jinhwan's jacket in his chest. It was really cold outside.

"I'd like to take Hanbin on rest," exhales Donghyuk, attracting the attention of a guy. "His stress is going to get us all cold, I think."

"It's right," quietly laughs Yunhyeong, patting on the seat next to him. Donghyuk sits down next to him, catching his breath. "Although the cold air a lot helps to concentrates. It's easier to make decisions, don't you think?"

"I don't even know what to think," said Donghyuk, shaking his head. Yunhyeong smirks, turning again to the view from the hill and silently watching the night space. Donghyuk still feels awkward. He ran here with all the resolve and confidence in his abilities, but when he sees Yunhyeong, he again feels a strange sense of his own untidiness and loss. "Oh, by the way... Jiwon wanted to give you the cooking recipes and asked me to give them to you, and I wanted to take them, but I didn't know we were going to meet today, I mean, I was thinking of meeting you, but I didn't know when and..." he stops abruptly, feeling embarrassed. "Damn it. That was stupid, wasn't it?"

Yunhyeong laughs.

"Nah, it was cute. Too cute," he smiles softly, stretching his legs out in front of him and resting hands on the dry ground behind. "Thank you for reminding me. I haven't practiced cooking for a long time."

"But why?"

"I don't know. Maybe there wasn't someone for who I'd like to cook," he said. Donghyuk stops breathing. "But, I think, now I have a desire to do."

Donghyuk is a little bit afraid to ask why he has the desire.

"I heard," he clears his throat, hoping the guy doesn't notice the doubting tone of his voice, "about the new wallpaper."

"Ah, yeah," Yunhyeong doesn't hold back his laugh, thinking about the silly wallpapers that he is still not used to. "You haven't seen them yet, yes?"

"I'm sure they are beautiful," says Donghyuk, putting hands in the pockets of his jacket. Yunhyeong sits in the cardigan and shirt and Donghyuk still thinking about isn't he feels cold.

"No, they're not." Yunhyeong turns around to face him. His brown eyes are big and dark — only brown ones can be like that — and the night's gloom seems to get free all the stars that obtained at Yunhyeong's eyes. "But I love them. They're not perfect, and they don't fit me, but I like them."

"Why?"

Yunhyeong shrugs his shoulders.

"They remind me of my surroundings," he continues, not looking away. "My friends aren't perfect, but they are who they are, and I like that. People around me are not like me, but I still accept them. The world around me isn't perfect, but I love it. It's just wallpaper, but I'm happy with it. Although it still looks ridiculous."

"Maybe it's just not used to being a part of your life," Donghyuk sits closely. "Or it has a past issue. And that makes it terribly ridiculous."

"And what has it learned about its past in these weeks?" asks Yunhyeong, accepting the rules of the game. Donghyuk grins in response.

"That it's not only ridiculous but also stupid," he continues, leaning his palms on the ground. "And it has too many good friends that it wasn't worthy."

"Could it be that all these good friends are inside it?" Yunhyeong chuckles, fingering the sprouts of cold grass. "And it's too inattentive to notice."

"What do you mean?"

"The pattern on the wallpaper is too bright to cover it with disregard. And it's made up of too many particles, not just one line," Yunhyeong whispers. Donghyuk knows that it's not about the wallpaper. It's not about them at all. He uncomprehending frowns in response, and Yunhyeong sighs, thinking the words in his head and continues. "The only one who can fully know himself and his history is you. But I just want to say that the Moon, sea, good friends — that's all you, Kim Donghyuk. It doesn't explain you, but it's an undivided part of you that makes you yourself."

"Even if I don't know what the mares are?" timidly asks Donghyuk.

"And what would you like them to be?"

"I don't know," Donghyuk actually never thought about that. All his life he had wanted to find the true meaning of it, but he couldn't imagine what he would want to see as a result. "I wish they were real seas. You know, to be composed of seas that are both violent and peaceful at the same time. Just to let them flow at their own pace. Just to know that they are really inside me."

"Then why can't you believe it? Neither you nor anyone else knows the truth of the existence of the mares. You can have anything inside you if you just believe it. And you know that these scars didn't just appear."

"Do you think that's will work?"

"Let's play a game," Yunhyeong sits down across from him, resting his knees on Donghyuk's knees. "I choose any scar on your body, and you will tell me what you associate with it. Just be honest, okay?"

Donghyuk nods. He can feel the excitement on his fingertips, but the light happiness of the fact that they're spending time together is absorbing him. And he just wants to believe it.

"That's," Yunhyeong gently touches a finger to the small scar on his collarbone, causing goosebumps on Donghyuk. "How's it called?"

"Mare Imbrium — Sea of Rains."

"And what do you associate it with?"

"With the night. When comes to my night shift and it gets wet and cold outside, I can smell the rain. And the scar starting to hurt," laughs Donghyuk. "That's stupid, I guess."

"No. It matters and meaningful," Yunhyeong smiles gently and then touching another scar. "And this one?"

Donghyuk feels the touch of the boy's fingers on the back of his head and shudders slightly.

"It reminds me of Chanwoo," he says, and Yunhyeong raises an eyebrow. "It's the Mare Serenitatis — Sea of Serenity. Do you know the motto "Check, even if it hurts"? It's all because of Chanwoo. Without him, I would definitely have become even stupid."

"You're a smart guy, Donghyuk," Yunhyeong messing his ash-blonde hair, causing a timid smile to the guy. "And this one?"

"Mare Frigoris — Sea of Cold," Donghyuk's sight stops on the palms. "I don't know. I can only think about my hands. They're always cold too."

Yunhyeong nods knowingly, gently stroking the long scar on the palm of Donghyuk's hand, and then holds his hand. Yunhyeong's hands are warm, even warmer than usual, and his smile heats Donghyuk's heart.

"And this one on your back? I remember there was one scar."

"Mare Nubium — Sea of Clouds," says Donghyuk, remembering the thin scar on his skin of the back. "Don't laugh, but with Hanbin. He once told me the phrase that makes this mare associated only with him.

"What's the phrase?"

"Don't be afraid to fall down, the clouds are always nearby. He doesn't even know about the scar. Sometimes I think he has a very good intuition," Donghyuk grins while Yunhyeong raises an eyebrow in wonder. "But it really helped me to be less afraid of falling. Not just physically. It's like the clouds are holding me back from the abyss. It even makes me stronger."

"In Hanbin's style," Yunhyeong laughs, continuing the game. 

He chose any place, genuinely interested in the imagines at the boy's head, and for the first time, Donghyuk felt that he didn't even feel ashamed or embarrassed by the scars, freely discussing them. He liked to share his silly and simple associations, to which Yunhyeong really listened and laughing along with him.   
Donghyuk feels warm, really warm.

"Is there a scar here?" Yunhyeong gently touches his left breast. Donghyuk shakes his head positively and then remembers the name of the scar that makes his ears turn slightly red (he hopes it's from the cold). "How's it called?"

"Mare Desiderii — Sea of Dreams."

"Wow," Yunhyeong rounds his eyes in wonder, sighing in delight. "It's a too pretty name. I like it. And what do you associate with it?"

"With you."

Donghyuk sighs quickly, almost inaudibly, but the hushed breathing of Yunhyeong and his amazed look explains everything without words. He's ready to feel the awkwardness between them and the guy's estrangement from him and almost ready to apologize, feeling a deep sense of guilt, but Yunhyeong does something he didn't expect.

"Last time I said the phrase, 'Before you decide to break the connection with your past life, you need to know yourself in your past life,' you remember that, right?" asks Yunhyeong and gently runs his fingers across the guy's left breast through the jacket. Donghyuk nods his head, listening intently to the older guy. "Jinhwan said those words to me when I didn't want to be the Sun."

"You didn't want to be the Sun?" exclaims Donghyuk. Yunhyeong sadly grins and nods, for a moment looking up. "But why?"

"It was too complicated. I used to think it was a too important role and I wouldn't be able to handle it. I thought that I was completely different and didn't fit the role of the Sun," Yunhyeong continues. "And then Jinhwan said those words to me, and I thought, what makes me different from the Sun? Does the Sun have special parameters that make me adjust to it? All my life I have changed my character, my principles, my opinions, my friends, but one thing has never changed in me. And I realized that all I had to do is being myself and do what I knew best."

"And what is it?" timidly asks Donghyuk. Yunhyeong looks up, meeting the boy's eyes — Donghyuk's gaze is agitated, but not because of fright, but because of something admiring, something he needed to hear all this time.

"Give people warmth. Yes, I don't have fire in my hands or even warm hands, I can't get warmth to others physically, but I want to give people inner warmth. And that's what I really want to do for the rest of my life."

Donghyuk feels how thoughts are confused in his head, allowing him to spin in its own mess. But Yunhyeong's words are repeated over and over again, luring Donghyuk to the right answer, and he seems to begin to understand. Chaos opens that door forward. The answer was always right in front of him, behind him, around him; it was _inside him_. 

"So..."

"Yes. We don't have any distinct and certain powers, but we have abilities that can affect the inner world. It's something you should always pay attention to," Yunhyeong smiles softly, pointing a finger at the boy's left chest, pointing directly at his heart. "And the 'mares' inside you can be everything you want. The main thing is that they form a real Ocean in you, Ocean of Storms, and you should know this."

Donghyuk, for a second, closes his eyes, listening to his body, and his mind is spinning only what he wants. He wants to believe it, wants to trust Yunhyeong's words, wants to know that it matters. He is meaningful. And it seems to him as if the moon waves are slowly beating behind each scar, spreading over the entire surface of the body, and everything is boiling like a real Oceanus Procellarum. Stubborn, cold, and strong but at the same time tranquil and calming. That's who Kim Donghyuk is — his strength, dreams and desires, and most importantly — faith.

Faith in yourself, in others, and in his own _meaning_.

"Yunhyeong?"

Yunhyeong raises his head in interest, looking into the boy's eyes, and Donghyuk doesn't even have time to notice how he asks the question he's been dreaming of asking all these months.

"Do you want to watch movies with me?"

Yunhyeong laughs softly, not answering, and pulls the embarrassed boy towards him, kissing him gently as if touching the most fragile moonstone. Yunhyeong's lips are soft and taste like fresh strawberries in sugar, and Donghyuk can't help but smile during the kiss. He takes it as a yes, and feels his heart getting mess like a real lunar Ocean.

And Donghyuk finally begins to understand that he, damn it, part of this _Life_.

**Author's Note:**

> #np primary, anda, colde - the open boat (beautiful song, plssss listen it)  
> somehow i still hating this work but still trying to love this too. i wrote this when recognized one day that I need to remind myself about how important is just to love yourself and being yourself. I'm not planet and satellite (and I'm really sad abt it) but maybe have a little bit of faith too (hope yall too)
> 
> and yeah, a lot of cases and typos. thank you for all who read this work, it's important to me ♡


End file.
